Spare

Spare

by Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex

Random House, 2023. 410 pages. Biography

As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered how the lives of the two young princes would play out from that point on. For Harry, this is that story at last. Before losing his mother, Harry was known as the carefree Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything: he struggled at school, and struggled to accept life in the spotlight. Enrolling in the British Army gave him structure, but he soon suffered from post-traumatic stress and crippling panic attacks. The world was swept away by his cinematic romance with Meghan and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. For the first time, Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty.

I know I kinda missed the trend with this one; it was really big when it first came out, and then slipped into quiet obscurity. However, maybe it worked out okay to read this when I did, precisely because I could view it more objectively without the hubbub. I enjoyed learning the behind-the-scenes peek at the British Royal Family and their relationship with the press, and my heart broke to hear of how Harry and Meghan were treated. Harry speaks with candor and honesty, giving an honest and raw look at his life thus far. What this was missing was a true purpose: Harry doesn't seem to have a clear call to action or any goal for this work. Instead, it just seems to be him telling his story and what things were like for him. But I suppose that's fine, isn't it.

When Stars Are Scattered

When Stars Are Scattered

by Victoria Jamieson and Omar Mohamed
Dial, 2020. 264 pages. Graphic Novel

Omar and his little brother, Hassan, arrived in Dadaab, a refugee camp in Kenya, seven years ago. Their father was killed the day they left home, and they haven't seen their mother since they joined their neighbors who were fleeing to Dadaab. Now Omar is eleven and Hassan is nine, and Omar has quit school to look after his brother, who has an intellectual disability. When Omar is given the opportunity to return to school and carve out a future for himself and Hassan, he feels torn. He loves school and could have the opportunity to earn a coveted scholarship to a North American university--and with it a visa for himself and Hassan. But is it worth the risk and heartache of leaving his vulnerable brother for hours each day?

This is an important story to read, especially for young readers. Many in the Western world (myself included) don't truly understand what refugees experience. This story, told in a graphic novel format, is at times hopeful, frustrating, depressing, and moving. Mohamed's experiences are portrayed in a realistic and relatable way, with bits of humor here and there and with candor throughout. This work and stories like it can help readers achieve a level of deeper understanding of lives dissimilar to their own, which in turn can help the rising generation live lives filled with empathy while inspiring them to achieve their highest potential.

Deaf Utopia

Deaf Utopia: A Memoir - And a Love Letter to a Way of Life

by Nyle DiMarco with Robert Siebert
William Morrow, 2022. 317 pages. Biography

A heartfelt and inspiring memoir by Nyle DiMarco, actor, producer, model, advocate, and cultural icon of the international Deaf community. DiMarco is half of a pair of Deaf twins born to a multi-generational Deaf family in Queens, New York. At the hospital one day after he was born, Nyle “failed” his first test—a hearing test—to the joy and excitement of his parents. In this moving and engrossing memoir, Nyle shares stories, both heartbreaking and humorous, of what it means to navigate a world built for hearing people. From growing up in a rough-and-tumble childhood in Queens with his big and loving Italian-American family to where he is now, Nyle has always been driven to explore beyond the boundaries given him. Deaf Utopia is more than a memoir, it is a cultural anthem—a proud and defiant song of Deaf culture and a love letter to American Sign Language, Nyle’s primary language. Through his stories and those of his Deaf brothers, parents, and grandparents, Nyle opens many windows into the Deaf experience.

I haven't seen the reality shows where DiMarco earned his fame, and I didn't really know who he was when I started this book, but I did have an interest in his story, and it only grew the more I read. Intersectionality is the concept that any given individual belongs to several different identities at the same time, such as LGBT and Deaf, in DiMarco's case. It's refreshing to hear stories about how multiple identities interact and overlap in the life of a single person, and I was grateful for the safe spaces DiMarco has been working to create for many marginalized communities. I'm also always interested to self-discovery and coming out stories; it really is so different for each of us.

I'm Glad My Mom Died

I'm Glad My Mom Died

by Jennette McCurdy
Simon & Schuster, 2022. 304 pages. Biography

Nickelodeon child star Jennette McCurdy opens up in this hilarious yet harrowing memoir. She tackles tough topics like her eating disorders and anxiety, the role of religion in her life, and her multifaceted relationship with her overbearing and abusive mother. McCurdy steps the reader through her journey from being cast in iCarly through the launching of the spin-off series Sam & Cat, her mother's death of cancer, and her decision to quit acting, find recovery, and decide for the first time what she really wants for herself.

I loved iCarly growing up, and I was excited to see McCurdy's biography on the shelves. The title notwithstanding, I still thought it would be a mostly lighthearted behind-the-scenes romp. In reality, this work is a powerful and candid exploration of mental health, the impact of a toxic and abusive parent, and the exploitation of child actors in Hollywood. This was by no means an easy read, and there were moments I had to take a break before I was ready to continue. For those of us who have struggled with disordered eating, it can be a bit difficult to hear the level of detail McCurdy puts in this work. McCurdy moves at a pretty quick pace, and the story she tells is very engaging. 

I'm glad her mom died too.

Dolly Parton, Songteller

Dolly Parton, Songteller: My Life in Lyrics

by Dolly Parton and Robert K. Oermann
Chronicle, 2020. 380 pages. Biography

In this celebration of the remarkable life and career of a country music and pop culture legend, Parton reveals the stories and memories that have made her a beloved icon across generations, genders, and social and international boundaries. As told by Parton in her own inimitable words, explore the songs that have defined her journey, illustrated throughout with previously unpublished images from Parton's personal and business archives.

For the full experience, I would recommend a combination of the print and audio formats of this book, which provides access to images of rare artifacts and memorabilia as well as Parton's own voice in spoken word and song through what feels like a casual extended interview.

I Have Something to Tell You

I Have Something to Tell You
by Chasten Glezman Buttigieg
Atria, 2020. 256 pages. Biography

A moving, hopeful, and refreshingly candid memoir by the husband of former Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg about growing up gay in his small Midwestern town, his relationship with Pete, and his hope for America’s future.

In 2020, I was very excited to see an openly gay candidate run for presidential office with his husband by his side; I honestly didn't think I'd live to see that happen in the United States. Politics aside, it was lovely to read this engaging and emotional memoir of a sensitive, genuine gay man coming to terms with his identity, making his way in the world, and finding love with someone who would eventually run for president. (I'm still rooting for Buttigieg to become our country's first First Gentleman, but only time will tell.)

Happy Pride Month!

Boy Erased

Boy Erased: A Memoir

by Garrard Conley
Riverhead, 2016. 340 pages. Biography

The son of a small-town Arkansas Baptist pastor, Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality. While at college, he was outed to his parents and forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church-supported conversion therapy program; or risk losing his family, his friends, and his God. Through an institutionalized Twelve-Step Program, he was supposed to emerge heterosexual, ex-gay, cleansed of impure urges. Instead, even when faced with a harrowing and brutal journey, Conley found the strength to break out in search of his true self and forgiveness.

This book was difficult to read because of how close it hits to home. I came out in a geographic location and at a time that made me a prime candidate for conversion therapy. Somehow, I fortunately was never put in a program designed to change my sexuality. The more research I do and the more stories I hear about the heartbreak and irreparable damage caused by this practice, the more humbled I am to have dodged this bullet. The historic struggles of the LGBTQ+ community have shaped our culture and how we react to the world around us. I seek to honor the pain and sorrow experienced by those who paved the way before me.